I have enjoyed, really, fairly extravagant good fortune lately. I found a good land with a house for a price I could afford, a land with a pond teeming with fish. My mother's house sold for way more than I expected. I have been super, super fortunate.
Of course luck has nothing to do with it. From G-d comes life, and all the things that come with life. One of my first acts as the new owner of this house was to remove the horseshoe that was nailed right over the front door. It seems the previous owner believed in luck: not that this worked out well for him.
I do not believe in luck. From His hand I receive all things.
However you don't have to go far in the Tanakh to hear the frequently repeated cautionary tale of what happened to the Children of Abraham when they received the blessings of G-d. It is a theme that is repeated over and over and over. Israel was obedient and feared G-d and so they received good things: then they started taking credit for their own success and became haughty and broke faith with G-d, so G-d brought them bad things. And so they repented, or at least some did. And the cycle repeated. Faithfulness is rewarded with prosperity, which tempts many to sin, which brings desolation. It happens so many times in the Tanakh.
In America, our ancestors were faithful or at least way more faithful than is the norm now. They were rewarded. So their children and grandchildren decided to do things their own way, with repercussions that we are only beginning to see. Those ancestors like all good parents prayed to G-d, "help my children." So He did. But when it comes down to grandchildren and great-grandchildren, when those offspring deny G-d, that blessing wears off after awhile. In America, the cumulative blessings of our forefathers have reached their expiration date.
But I didn't start writing this to talk about that. I am talking about my concerns. I am truly scared of this pattern happening to me, and I hope this fear keeps me safe. People badmouth fear: appropriate fear is good. Fear keeps you safe. And so I fear this pattern that happened so many many times to the Israelites could happen to me, and that's...
terrifying.
To be led out of Egypt, which I was no less than the Israelites, and then to turn your back on G-d in the Promised Land, that is terrifying and should be. *I* was lead out of Egypt, my Egypt, the City. Dallas was my Egypt. A place where I had no good work to do and though no chains bound me, I was still a prisoner. I had not come to my Promised Land and I was not doing what I was supposed to be doing.
Now I am in my promised land, and I am very concerned to triple-down on faithfulness because I know what happened. I know what happened to the Israelites. I know the pattern of unfaithfulness that has repeated over and over and over and over. The recognition of that pattern is burned into me.
Oh Lord, keep me lowly. Keep me humble. Keep me obedient. Keep me faithful. May I castigate any trace of pride in me. I have not done these things, You did them. I did not succeed, YOU succeeded in me. How could I succeed? I am nobody. I am nothing. I am nothing without You.
It is said in the Book of Daniel that Daniel prayed and humbled himself and confessed his sins three times a day. I want to take up that habit.
Prosperity is a blessing to the godly, but to the ungodly prosperity is a rope they hang themselves with.
The promise denied was an idea very familiar to the Pilgrim Fathers. It repeats FIVE times in the Book of Numbers when the Israelites were rebellious in the desert and pined for Egypt again. It says, "your carcasses shall fall in this wilderness."
Your carcasses shall fall in this wilderness.
Your carcasses shall fall in this wilderness.
Your carcasses shall fall in this wilderness.
Your carcasses shall fall in this wilderness.
The Promised Land denied is a spiritual nightmare. I want to hammer that thought, and the warnings in Isaiah and throughout the Tanakh, I want to hammer those passages into my brain and heart. Hammer hammer hammer.
I pray to G-d that such a fate shall not befall me. Be wary, when the way to the Promised Land is cleared, that you yourself do not close that door.
Say unto them, As truly as I live, saith the LORD,
as ye have spoken in mine ears, so will I do to you:
Your carcasses shall fall in this wilderness;
and all that were numbered of you,
according to your whole number,
from twenty years old and upward,
which have murmured against me,
Doubtless ye shall not come into the land,
concerning which I sware to make you dwell therein,
save Caleb the son of Jephunneh, and
Joshua the son of Nun.
But your little ones, which ye said should be a prey,
them will I bring in, and they shall know the land
which ye have despised.
But as for you,
your carcasses, they shall fall in this wilderness.
And your children shall wander in the wilderness
forty years, and bear your whoredoms,
until your carcasses be wasted in the wilderness.
~Numbers 14:28-33
I will sing for the one I love
a song about his vineyard:
My loved one had a vineyard
on a fertile hillside.
He dug it up and cleared it of stones
and planted it with the choicest vines.
He built a watchtower in it
and cut out a winepress as well.
Then he looked for a crop of good grapes,
but it yielded only bad fruit.
“Now you dwellers in Jerusalem and people of Judah,
judge between me and my vineyard.
What more could have been done for my vineyard
than I have done for it?
When I looked for good grapes,
why did it yield only bad?
Now I will tell you
what I am going to do to my vineyard:
I will take away its hedge,
and it will be destroyed;
I will break down its wall,
and it will be trampled.
I will make it a wasteland,
neither pruned nor cultivated,
and briers and thorns will grow there.
I will command the clouds
not to rain on it.”
The vineyard of the Lord Almighty
is the nation of Israel,
and the people of Judah
are the vines he delighted in.
And he looked for justice, but saw bloodshed;
for righteousness, but heard cries of distress.
~Isaiah 5:1-7
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