Cracked Cross

Image by Romary

I initiated this blog in a somewhat arrogant way - saying that the church of the present day is essentially pharisiacal and not true to what the Gospels said. I was speaking honestly, but I was also speaking from my own blind spots as I was speaking to the blind spots of others. I was doing both. Pointing an accusing finger is rarely that helpful, is I guess what I am saying. I have a lot of pride and arrogance. I am quite ready to find the faults (of which there are many) with others who call themselves Christian, but pointing that same analysis towards my own faults is not as easy.

It is one thing to point out the failures and inconsistencies of those who call themselves Christian when you are not one - I was in that position much in my life. It is much more troubling to do it when you ARE one, or at least you claim the same Christ. It raises the question: why is "Christianity" so very broken? And it is, it is very broken. When you have the leader of a local church standing up at a football game suggesting people should be lined up and shot for refusing to stand during the national anthem - he claims the very same Christ I do. And we can't both be right. Of course we can both be wrong, as I am sure we both are in various ways.

One issue is, Christians on the authority of the Gospels say that Jesus is the only way to God. And the gospels DO say that. And so that tends to lead to a "my way or the highway" approach that says that everyone else is WRONG, and so Christians dig themselves into ever deeper and more walled trenches to defend themselves against the horde of the "other" and become more and more inbred in their error. Which it is impossible to ever imagine Jesus doing that. It is impossible to ever imagine Jesus doing many of the things that are claimed in his name right now, never mind throughout history.

And so you have Jesus, and then you have WE sorry lot, we who call ourselves by his name. And as a whole, and to a degree I include myself, we aren't like him. To quote Gandhi, "you Christians are not like your Christ." The totality of people who call themselves Christian, and especially in this country - we're a damn mess. We've got gun-toting Christians, anti-immigrant Christians, God Hates Fags Christians, Line Em Up And Shoot Em Christians, Starve The Poor Christians - I won't go on. Why is a religion based on peace and brotherhood so seriously fucked up?

And while nobody has really commented negatively on my re-conversion to Christianity, they could be excused for wondering "why in the hell is he going back to that screwed up religion of haters, gun-toters, immigrant-haters and nuts?" Well it certainly isn't their religion, and sometimes it isn't my religion. It's Christ's religion.

Getting back to what I said before, yes the Gospels quote Jesus as saying, "I am the Way. Nobody gets to the Father except through me." It doesn't say anywhere that people have to KNOW that Jesus saved them, or what form Jesus will appear to them. You can't put a limit on how God helps people. I have been down too many different roads, good roads, to think that no other way of seeking God has merit.

I also have been down the Christian road too many times to think that just saying you follow Jesus or are a Christian or are saved by his blood is of any worth in itself. You think you are saved by the cross? You're not. You're saved by doing what he says to do. By obedience.

In times past I have been a BAD Christian. I have been the same kind of guy I criticize so piously today. If I have any hope at all, it is not because I was that kind of Christian but DESPITE having been that kind of Christian. The judgmental kind. The "my way or the highway" kind.

Why are we who (maybe mistakenly) call ourselves by his name so really very screwed up? Well I suppose you could say that human wickedness or Satan or whatever you want to call it, is very subtle. He loves to yank the robes off of would-be prophets, and to help them be their own worst enemies. Help them dig their own graves. You don't underestimate that, you don't underestimate him. You don't know how deep the rabbit hole goes. Most people really have no idea how screwed up they are. I am, the God Hates Fags guys are. All of us, in our own different ways. It's like you go to scoop up some dog poop on a mountain, and once you scoop up some you see some more, and then you realize the mountain is MADE of dog poop.

Maybe that's why Jesus attracts such severely broken defective people to him, because they are the ones who need him the most. As always, hanging out with the tax collectors and the sinners. ;) Hanging with the low-lifes. And sometimes with the bigots and the haters. Because they need him the worst, because they are the most desperately lost. Because he came to help the sinners, and there are few sinners worse than they. The bigots and the haters are a shame to we who say we really do follow Christ, but to him they are just other sinners. No different really from us.

And that is why although my first posts in this blog were truthful as far as that goes, they were not wise. Wise would be, there goes more sinners and hypocrites and whitewashed tombs, just like I have been in my life. There is a point where the harsh edges of those posts has a purpose, because these people who lead "Churchianity" claim to be leaders when they are just blind guides and pharisees. But their sin is not really my business, is it? My sin is.

Why despite the brokenness of everything that is called "Christianity" do I follow Jesus? Not because of "Christianity" which is a catalog of broken toys. Because of Christ. Where else do I go? In the end, it is always about him.