Only Him

Two blog posts in one day is a bit much, even for me. I am not sure I will want to be doing many more after this however. This may kind of be it for awhile.

I was thinking to myself, "when you fall in love with someone, how do you know you are actually in love with them and not your own image of them?" And of course you do fall in love with your image of them. Over time that image may be changed and improved as you learn more about them, but is it still an image of them rather than them? In some ways at least, it still is.

Then I thought, "how is the love of G-d any different?" Well, in a sense you can love G-d without knowing anything about Him. If you love peace, mercy, truth, justice, you DO love G-d even without knowing him. So then can we keep on loving peace, mercy, justice and the rest and leave off loving Him in any other way?

Well many do. And I am not saying that is wrong: in fact it's pretty right. But let me tell you what IS wrong.

We are. We and the world are. We are ourselves sin.

In Daoism, it is said that you can see the "unity" or else you can see the "ten thousand things." The "ten thousand things" are the multiplicity of stuff in the world. The world as it is, the world as it appears to normal folks. The world of the "ten thousand things" is itself sin because it is itself sundered, fallen from the primordial unity.

If you are a normal person, the idea is that you be a good person and do what is right and that is pretty cool. That's what you are supposed to be. Nobody could ever argue with that.

If you are a weirdo like me however, that might not be enough, that might not satisfy, because you understand that the world - or at least the world to YOU - is sundered. Is Fallen. And nothing else will do but to ultimately cease to see yourself and to cease to see the world, but only see G-d. Even the word "God" goes.

The Sufis are so much better at language for this than anybody else is, though they speak often in terms of romantic love. Which is what I started this post with, the strange difficulty in ever actually knowing the Beloved (human or otherwise.) Do you know them, or do you know your image of them? This also ties into my previous post for today, on idolatry. Do you know Jesus, or just the Bible or that wooden figure on a crucifix? Do you love G-d or just the Tanakh? This is part of the "ten thousand things," the sundering. We are separated from our object, from the object of our inquiry. When you love another person, that person is not us and in many ways is forever unknown to us. Everything is separated. The Ten Thousand Things.

But I see before me a great shining sword to sunder the sundering, to render it whole. To render it whole the only way it could be. "I" passes away, we pass away, the world passes away, and there is left only G-d. Where there is no longer Robert looking at G-d, but only G-d, and Robert is no longer thought of and the world is no longer thought of. And He is there always... in any given moment that could happen. That I forget myself, that I am annihilated yet still live. Dead yet alive. I leave - He stays.

"All things in creation suffer annihilation

and there remains the face of the Lord

in its majesty and bounty."

~Surat-L-Rehman 26-27

Idolatry

When we think about the multiple times in the Tanakh (Old Testament) when idolatry is condemned, when we think of all the prophets and heroes of those ancient times who acted against it, sometimes very violently (Elijah supposedly commanding the death of 800+ Baal and Asherah devotees comes to mind,) we may look at the modern world and think: how is that relevant anymore? Why should I even read this stuff if it only pertains to a world long dead? While there are many adherents of polytheistic religions worldwide, most notably Hinduism, here in America we don't see Asherah poles or statues of the fish-god Dagon on the streetcorners. America is far too secular for any of that. While there are polytheists here too, they usually practice in private. How is this at all a concern anymore?

Unfortunately we don't get off that easy, none of us do. Idolatry is a universal human temptation, and will arise even in people who are devoutly monotheistic or think of themselves as such. Anytime anyone relies on some aspect of religion more than they rely on G-d, even if they rely on that as a way to G-d, they are treading on an idolatry gray zone.

I am going to get this out there and then move on, because this is actually far from the main focus of what I want to say. My goal is not to criticize others but if anything to get myself where I need to be.

That said... Christianity is an idolatrous religion. You have a created being, a man, who is claimed to have been G-d. No man was ever G-d. That's no different than the ancient Egyptian pharaohs claiming to be gods themselves. If Jesus was G-d, then he could not die on the cross because G-d cannot die. G-d is Himself life. If Jesus was a man who died on the cross, then he was just like the millions of other people who died horribly without significantly affecting the salvation of the world. If Jesus was G-d and didn't die however, the cross is in vain because nobody died on it. Either way, salvation is not effected. It is terribly hostile to the core of Mosaic religion to think that any created being whatsoever has ever been or could ever be G-d. In this, the Muslims are right (though wrong about other things.) "Hear O Israel: the Lord our G-d, the Lord is ONE." Not "three-in-one" or any other permutation. Really, it is hard to see how Christianity has been so successful given that it relies on the idea that the Almighty can die, but I guess back in the Roman Empire mercy, love and charity were more persuasive than theology. Which, there is something to that.

Okay, that's out of the way. Okay Jews and Muslims, you're up next. How about the Tanakh, the Talmud or the Quran? Is excessive reliance on either of those potentially idolatrous? Is revering them as holy books beyond the information or knowledge they convey potentially idolatrous?

Yes.

Yes they potentially are. This took me a while to understand. You see, human beings want something they can hold onto, a sure path, something they can rely on. I am absolutely no different, and in a sense there is nothing wrong with that - until there is. At heart I just want a sure path to G-d and not to have to do a great deal of work to get on it. I want something I can hold in my hands and love, something in this world that is reliably holy. But the Tanakh isn't itself holy, G-d is. This is a difficult fate, to love something that I cannot see or touch or even imagine myself doing so. Jesus has a human face, but not G-d. Jesus has human hands, but not G-d. Even the Tanakh, a physical Tanakh book is tangible, but not G-d. If I kiss the Tanakh, I am not kissing G-d, I am kissing dead wood pulp. Nor are the words in it, or ANY words, absolutely reliable. It is a book of wisdom, a book of learning, but that's all it is. Devotion to it can be a means to an end, the end of thoroughly understanding what it says, but that's all.

What then IS reliable? Only G-d Himself. I must place my faith and trust in G-d alone: no book, no symbol, no words however wise or inspiring. Only the impact of His spirit upon mine is what I can trust.

No books, no man, no god, no idol, no words - not even the holiest prayer (which for me is the Shema.) Only G-d alone. I am throwing myself out there and praying that G-d will catch me.

And that's a hard road and always has been and always will be, though the difficulty is all ours.