Free Will

 

 "If you bring out what is within you,
what is within you will save you.

If you do not bring out what is within you,
what is within you will destroy you."

 ~Apocryphal Gospel of Thomas

 
I know that this world is a foundry of free will. It was never paradise and never can be paradise, paradise is somewhere else. I know that it is our Father's will that everyone bring out what is within them, for good and evil. To bring forth either the Child of G-d, or the child of godlessness. Of course He wants us to choose good, for our sakes, but we are free not to.

 I have been writing the Islamist writer Sayyid Qutb, a great writer and I highly recommend him. He gets a bad rap for being "the ideological father of Osama bin Laden" and "the ideological father of Anwar al-Awlaki." As far as I can tell, he never killed anyone or recommended doing so, except for tyrants which a lot of people recommend the deaths of tyrants. However he and the Islamists generally are operating under a delusion. The delusion is that G-d's law can come into fruition on Earth on a mass scale. At a minimum, that the tyranny of the human will can be overthrown on a mass scale. It cannot, and was never intended to be. The Iranians tried it, and developed their own unique form of theocratic tyranny, but tyranny nevertheless. On this Earth, power abhors a vacuum and Nature always fills that vacuum with the most ruthless and ambitious.

It is our Father's will that we choose Him of our own free will. That we choose Him despite obstacles. That we choose Him, in a materialistic, shallow and godless world, despite many discouragements. That we overcome great travails to choose Him. There is a price. He is willing - He does not wish that any be lost but He is willing - that a hundred million humans live out self-centered godless materialistic lives and die, in order to bring into birth one child of G-d.

The birth of a child of G-d is very, very expensive.

A whole world must live and die to bring it into existence.

 Those hundred million get their choice. They have free will. Every single one of those numberless million, get the choice. For the overwhelming majority of them, the world of the senses, of pleasure, of gain, of earthly joys, earthly objectives, is what they want. The world of created things. They live, they die, that's it. Which is what they themselves largely expect. Outside of possibly severe adverse consequences in this world, there is no judgment, there is no hell. They were given a gift, Life; they used it as they wished; that's it.

If they never spent a moment giving glory to their Creator and the Creator of all, that is their choice. G-d does not hate them. But He can be excused if He finds no particular reason to give them anything else. It is His choice, to give or not.

The Child of G-d must not seek power in any form for himself. That's just the thing, the thing that the Islamists get so wrong, to their peril and that of everyone else. You cannot seek power to "set the world aright" if the problem is human power to begin with. Your human power would be no different from theirs. With the best of intentions, you would set the whole thing in motion again, with a new despotism to replace the old despotism. G-d's kingdom can only be the leadership of G-d, not you or I. G-d's kingdom is from within, from inward devotion and submission.

But while I embrace this truth, I am also very uncomfortable with it. I protest, all the time, whatever the new atrocity is from the Woke Left. I would love for human power in the form of Republican leadership to set it aright. BUT IT WILL NEVER EVER BE SET ARIGHT. Only you can set yourself aright.

I am angry, incensed, furious. All the time. I am furious at the murder of 60 million children thus far in the abortion holocaust. I would like to take those abortion doctors and grind their faces into concrete and pound their heads to mush. I would like them to feel what being aborted feels like first-hand. I am incensed, furious at the corruption of our society's youth. I am incensed, angry at the glorification of sin that our society commits on a daily basis, every day some new outrage.

I AM ANGRY.

But this world is doing exactly what G-d designed it to do. If you bring out what is within you, what is within you will save you (the Kingdom of G-d.) If you do not bring out what is within you, what is within you will destroy you. The vacuum of the absence of the Kingdom of G-d in your heart, which you must fill with drugs or sex or deviance and immorality of one kind or another. And then ultimately death, forever. Ashes under the feet of the Children.

You have to go back to that very first day you committed rebellion against G-d, as a young child, and renounce that. Repent and disown it. Ask forgiveness for the very first time you turned your heart against G-d. THAT is when you turned your back on the Kingdom of G-d. That was when the light of the Kingdom of G-d started to dim in your heart. And if you cannot cry over THAT day, how can you be saved? I remember that day, for myself, or the day when it really came to a head anyway. I was just a child. But I decided, with the free will that G-d gave me.

Anyway, back to the anger. There are 332 million Americans, and if 331 million of them choose godlessness,

THERE · IS · NOTHING · I · CAN · DO.

 If I had some amazingly successful career at assassinating leftists, or blowing up abortion clinics, or detonating casinos and racetracks - which is very very unlikely - NOTHING WOULD CHANGE.

If I blew up every abortion clinic in America, through a completely unprecedented string of successful terrorism, NOTHING WOULD CHANGE. Because over half of America wants them to exist. So they will. I do not even believe that G-d would bless my efforts with success, because HE wants them to choose. Choose to murder their own children, if that's what they want. They are choosing.

America itself exists in some sense to serve godlessness. Liberty. In truth there is no liberty without G-d, but the kind of liberty America provides is essentially license. You want to get drunk every night, you do it. Smoke pot every day, do it. That is why pot is becoming legal everywhere here, prohibiting pot is fundamentally un-American. Just like Prohibition, which was started for the most saintly of motives, avoiding ruined lives, but American wasn't having it. They wanted liberty. The liberty to get drunk. The liberty to BE drunks, if they wish. Sleep around if you like. Sleep with the same sex if you like. Gambling, gambling has been normalized in some form in every state of the Union I believe. Even Texas has its lottery, and casinos and horse racing are as close as Oklahoma or Louisiana. I get ads for Oklahoma casinos all the time, living on the northern edge of Texas. Granted, thankfully, Texas is not as bad as some. Homosexuality, trans, all as normal and American as apple pie now.

No human power of mine, or indeed a million of me, would change anything. They have chosen. They were given that choice to make. That's why we are all here on Earth. Stopping it would be an usurpation of power that is not mine to take. G-d will eventually destroy them, not me.

So while these things do violence to my soul, and I think should, my anger is a temptation to change things with human power. Believe me, even if the Republicans take control of government for a hundred years, even if CNN Center meets the wrecking ball (please G-d,) even if the Leftists are in retreat everywhere, FUNDAMENTALLY NOTHING WILL CHANGE. Because in those 331 million hearts, the desire to sin will continue. Because that is what they choose. And they can choose it.

 And I don't think that 331 million out of 332 million number is far wrong. While I do not regard the New Testament as scripture, I think Jesus was probably right about the narrow road. 

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."

~Matthew 7:13-14

I have to learn to abandon my anger. It accomplishes nothing. This society is teaching sin and abomination, YES. YES it is, absolutely. This society has murdered SIXTY MILLION CHILDREN AND COUNTING. YES, yes it has. This society has normalized sin and abomination YES. YES it absolutely has. This nation is the whore of Babylon if ever there was one. America on this Fourth of July is not a light to the world it is a CESSPOOL OF EVIL. YES, yes it is. All this is true.

And  · THERE · IS · NOTHING · I · CAN · DO · about that at all. I cannot stop it. I cannot correct it in the slightest. If I pour gasoline on myself and set myself alight on the steps of the Supreme Court, I only become grist for today's headlines, "he was a disturbed soul clearly," and tomorrow it is on with the festival of darkness. And the next day. And the next. Until finally America is brought down.

And on that day, were I alive to see it, all I could do is celebrate that the great satan is over. Until it begins again. Because there will likely always be a great satan, to take its place. Sumer, Assyria, Babylon, Greece, Persia, Rome, Byzantium, Sassanids, Ottomans, Britain, America, China, and on it goes. Until the end.

G-d is King, not me. I have to embrace that truth and withdraw my personal emotional investment in where this sad world goes next. Will sin and injustice continue to offend my soul and cause me suffering? Yes, always. But that is between me and G-d, not me and the World. I am not a citizen of that world anymore.